14562 days ago
Top 10 Ways to Burn Bridges, Practice Self Annihilation, and Drive your Relationships into the Ground…
10. Under Deliver
As a person who loves to please, especially in business, this caused me to fail early on in life. In fact, you could say it turned my business life into a living nightmare because once you promise something and it doesn’t happen, then you have to explain yourself…over & over & over & over again, at least that’s what it felt like. What makes it extra bad, is that it’s your own fault!
Today, I always strive to over deliver. I under promise, pad my timing for a job to get done, and charge a lot less than I could receive. However, by over delivering, I have removed all the stress of a normal business transaction. I remember when I used to over promise and under deliver, I had a lot of stress due to the fact that I knew the client was probably upset with me and I was going to have to promise even more just to break even on making them happy. The worst part is, you have their business for life.
9. Advertising Yourself as an Expert in what you are not
This will lead to disappointment and even embarrassment. I love starting speeches and write-ups with, “I am not an expert.” It feels great to relieve myself of the obligation of being the guy who knows it all. I don’t and in the past I’ve learned that trying to know it all is never going to happen. One of my mentors, David Morgan, describes himself as a “learn it all,” I like that, that’s a great way to live.
8. First impressions… don’t ‘F’ it Up
Acting like an idiot, especially the first time you meet someone is where I exceed the best when it comes to self annihilation. I love to joke around…meaning offensive insults that are funny, jokes about stereotypes, and of course that extra glass of wine (you know, the one where you stopped keeping count).
My entire life I have been addicted to laughing; this sounds great, it’s even encouraged by most, but for me I love to take my laughing to the next level. This of course requires me to say and do things that cross lines, which I am perfectly fine with, but not everyone always is. I often say that I never lose friends over disagreements or arguments, I lose them because someone ends up offended.
7. Straying from Integrity
Everyone has suffered from this, from taking something small like a pen, to not disclosing an accounting error in a checkout line. Eventually these type of decisions add up, it’s not good for the soul, and the best way to live out your life is with brutal honesty. The problem with not having integrity is that it can ruin your reputation for life!
Think about people who made small or large mistakes in their early 20’s and today, maybe 30 or 40 years later are still known as “that person who did…fill in the blank.”
6. Forgiving but not Restoring
If you have someone in your life that you need to forgive, forgive them and then if you choose to keep them in your life, restore them. No need to keep people around you just plan on abusing for the rest of their days. Restoring people and helping them become whole is a great way to add value to your relationship with them for life!
5. Inviting friends to an MLM Sales Presentation
Multi-level marketing (MLM) destroys relationships. If you want to succeed at an MLM then treat it like a business and stop bothering your friends and loved ones. I’ve never done these things, but I’ve been on or know people on the receiving end. You know where someone calls you up like they want to see you, only to find out that you’ve been invited to a MLM home meet up. Or worse, someone calls you up to ask you your opinion on something, only to find out you are about to jump on a 3 way with the top selling MLM pumper in the region.
MLMs take one hell of a salesman to make money, to this day I’ve never met one person to start one and then succeed. I know they are out there, but I am saying in my own life. Over the years I’ve had to suffer through ACN, Primerica, and Lyoness meetings. In fact, the ACN meeting was at a Bible study, can you believe that? A Bible study turned into MLM sales pitch… Without exception, within 3 to 6 months even the people who invited you to those parties don’t even remember the MLM as they have moved on, just like you should after sitting through one.
MLMs abuse friendships and are highly deceptive in the way they are sold. If you plan to do one, I urge you to treat it like a business and don’t call your friends up looking for a downline.
4. Choosing your Smart Phone over the Person in Front of You
I promise you I will do an extended write up on this one, because the cell phone etiquette is nonexistent. Don’t answer text messages or take calls while you are in a conversation with someone physically. It’s just rude! Countless of times now I’ve had people looking down while I am telling them something, or have looked over and seen others at the table looking down while someone was talking to us.
Show some respect and treat someone as you would want to be treated. One solution I do with other business owners or parents, is at some point in our conversation I will ask for 1 minute to check back with my wife or clients. People are very understanding and this sets out a clear line, that it is cell phone time; avoiding the constant checking back and forth and loss of eye contact when the other person is speaking.
3. Not Knowing your Priorities in Life
Wasting time with people you don’t want to be around or doing things that you hate is literally burning up your 28,000 days. In my short life I have committed to activities and time with people that I should have taken a pass on. It simply puts you in an uncomfortable position and will inevitably bear no fruit. Knowing your priorities will help you balance your time and set the right boundaries.
2. Lending Family and Friends Money
This just never works, even when you think it can, it won’t! For most people this can be a great dividing force that causes all kinds of unnecessary conflict. If you want to help a family member out, give them the money or don’t. But avoid loaning money to loved ones at all costs.
Whatever this means to you, stop it. Don’t cheat on your spouse, business, bills, friends, neighbors, or on anyone in your life. Living in darkness will make you paranoid and force you into lying. Your chest will hurt and the paranoia will cause your stress levels to go up. Keep things out in the open and live with peace of mind. Always…Always put yourself in the other person’s shoes.