14562 days ago
You may be thinking that you can’t achieve something you want, something that you desire deep inside your heart. Outside circumstances have crushed you, overwhelmed you, and maybe you feel defeated. I was there.
10 years ago, almost to the very day, due to circumstances of my own doing, I destroyed it all. My friends, livelihood, and what I thought was a very bright future. I even considered driving into a pole and ending my life… all had been lost in my eyes.
For the first time in my life, I saw no future.
Since I was a child I felt destined to do great things, to be a significant person in our world. At several spiritual conferences in my life, out of thousands I was called up by the speaker, they always told me the same thing, that I would have an enormous impact on my friends, family, and everyone who knew me.
I carried these words spoken over me and the confidence I already had with me into young adulthood. Being a teenager I captured something that was crucial, I realized how important my thoughts and words were, that you can literally speak life into yourself and other people.
“Life and Death are in the tongue, and they shall eat the fruit thereof.”
My father would tell me
It meant that if you say and expect bad things to happen, then they will happen. The opposite is also true, if you expect good things to happen and speak positively over your life, then you will attract positive experiences.
The ultimate optimist, that was me when I was young, nothing could stop me. In fact, if someone said something would stop me, it became my mission to prove them wrong. As an 18 year old I was an unstoppable force or at least that’s how I felt.
I owned my first business at age 16, and I am talking about a real business with paying customers. My first investment property was purchased at age 18, just 6 months out of high school. A real estate agent told me that it could not be done…
I am thankful for her challenge, because after buying that property, I then bought my 2nd one. Only this time, it was the real estate agent that loaned me her commission in advance to buy the 2nd property, something she had never done before or thought of. I only thought of it because I had no limitation, I avoided conventional wisdom, therefore limitations were simply unknown to me.
When I was young I despised school, specifically college; I looked at it as a “gatekeeper.” A gatekeeper that said if you don’t do this, you can’t be successful. I hated that idea, I didn’t want to be successful in 4 to 8 years, I wanted to start my journey immediately. I always had a plan, a vision, and a deep knowledge that I just always knew I would be financially successful. Finances aren’t life, but for me personally, learning about money has always been my natural hobby.
Unfortunately, this all came crashing down in my early 20’s, I had messed up, my confidence, and feeling of invincibility destroyed me. A lack of ethics caused me to blow up the financial empire I had built, like an unstoppable force running into an immovable object.
For 5 years I lost that internal connection, that drive, that will to win. My expectations were gone, the worst case scenario of being normal had happened to me… I was stuck, never to rise again.
I remember going to an event and the speaker said that someone in the crowd today feels like damaged goods, that they are washed up…This brought a flood of tears, my chest was caving in, I could barely catch my breath because I felt like the speaker was talking about me.
That day I will never forget, I feel that this was the bottom of my own personal valley of darkness in my life. We all have our own valley of darkness, some of you are in it right now, and that is who this letter is for.
So How did I Recover?
I wish there was some cookie cutter advice that I could give you, but there is not. There are millions of paths and some include a little bit of luck. If I was to narrow down 3 things that helped me crawl out of my despair, without hesitation these are the first that come to mind.
- Be grateful for what you have and cherish the people you love. By pouring out my heart and soul into my wife, I became a better man, one that was more aware of all the good that surrounded me.
- Change – You don’t have to be the person of your past. No matter who you were or what you think you did, you don’t have to be that person, you can be anyone you want to be. Your character and choices can start fresh right now. So what you have problems from your past decisions, move forward, make new decisions that will better your life.
- Surround yourself with the right people. If the people at your work are miserable then that means you are too. Same thing for your church, study groups, or friends and family. I ended decade long relationships with negative people in my life.
Every journey starts with a single step, remember this because that is what it will take to change courses in your own life.
You can do this, you are not damaged goods, no matter what life throws at you. Remember, that you only get one shot at this, so choose to live your best life now.